How to stop self-sabotaging behaviour - life coaching Bloemfontein

How to stop self-sabotaging behaviour

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Self-sabotaging behaviour is common

Self-sabotaging behaviour is unique to humans.

If we decide upon something we want, many of us may sabotage ourselves by doing all we can to make sure we don’t get it.

Does it sound familiar? Even though this type of behaviour is unconscious, we can get it under control.

You may be sabotaging yourself for many reasons.

It’s a prevalent behaviour, rooted in an unexplained fear.

If you’ve lived most of your life in mediocrity, you may be terrified of the thought of being anything else.

Ask yourself if your life is as fulfilled as you’d like it to be.

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3 Reasons why you may self-sabotage:

  1. Control. You may be self-sabotaging to gain control over your circumstances.
    Maintaining your current status is the simplest and most sure way to remain in charge.

    • Putting everything you’ve got into something means running the risk of becoming vulnerable.
      Fear begins to get the better of you, and you begin to sabotage yourself.
  2. Low self-worth. Do you feel unworthy of success?
    • You may have agreed, that for whatever reason, happiness should always be something beyond your control.
      This agreement is a self-limiting belief, and it becomes a prediction that is continually evident in your life.
  3. Excitement.
    • You may continue to undermine your efforts because you’re looking for excitement.
      You may feel the need to live in a constant state of turmoil to divert you from painful memories or add some spice to your life.

If in any of these examples reflect how you see yourself, don’t despair: there are steps you can take to put yourself on the path to self-mastery.

Choose to see yourself successful and Embrace the good life you deserve, then refuse to talk yourself out of going for it.

Consider this process for defeating your self-sabotage:

  1. Become aware of your behaviour.
    • First of all, you need to become aware of yourself.
    • Begin by creating a self-sabotaging journal. Every time you know you’ve sabotaged yourself, make a journal entry.
      Describe the result, circumstances, and environment.
    • Try not to over-analyse, allow yourself to flow with the writing.
    • More often than not, sincere intentions are often reflected in the person’s reactions and not so much in their words.
    • In your journal, aim to be an impersonal observer. Eventually, in some instances, you can gain a better understanding of your motives.
  2. Visualise your success.
    • Remember, success is different for everyone; it’s neither black nor white. Create a habit of understanding what the meaning of success is for you.
      Continually remember how it feels to achieve it. Doing this often, you may find that your vision may change over time.
    • Start seeing success as an integral part of your future, but recognise that difficulties will still occur.
      You will always have to pay taxes and have relationship issues, just like everyone else.
  3. Release the idea of perfection.
    • Do you still think that success equals perfection when you visualise the results? If that’s the case, it’s time to realise that no one is flawless.
    • This is what George Bernard Shaw would refer to as “doublethink.” Perfection and life are mutually exclusive because it is impossible to achieve perfection.
      When you equate success with the impossible task of being perfect, your unconscious will prevent you from achieving success.
    • Your unconscious mind is like a computer’s hard drive. It doesn’t know how to carry out a command like “do the impossible.”
    • When you equate success with fear, your entire journey will be compromised and fought by your unconscious.
      Why? Because its primary purpose is to keep you safe, whether the threat is real or perceived.

Embrace the good life

Allow yourself to anticipate your success with excitement.

You may have been sending messages to your unconscious, that are interpreted as ”Don’t grant me the opportunity to be successful!”

So, let’s put your past habits of self-sabotage in the past.

Choose to see yourself thriving and Embrace the good life you deserve, then refuse to talk yourself out of going for it.

The journey to your ideal life begins now!

About Mark Csabai

Mark Csabai is a certified New Insights Life coach and NLP practitioner. Mark works with people who struggle with clarity of purpose. He helps them rewire faulty mindset patterns, so, they can live meaningful and fulfilled lives. He works with clients locally and internationally. With over twenty years of experience helping people break free from negative thinking and self-sabotaging behaviour. He will help you formulate the desired outcome to move you from where you are to where you want to be.